Jen Hatmaker’s AWAKE is stunning. This book is raw, vulnerable, and full of grace. She writes with unfiltered honesty about her divorce, sharing not only her own heartbreak but how her kids walked through it too. Those moments are tender and deeply human, showing her strength as both a mother and a woman learning to heal.What I loved most was her forgiveness; the way she speaks of her ex-husband with compassion, acknowledging his failures but also her own. It’s mature, redemptive, and refreshingly free of bitterness. Her realization that “it wasn’t all his fault” shows such growth and humility.And through it all, her wit sparkles. Even in the hardest moments, she finds humor and light. AWAKE isn’t just a memoir; it’s a reminder that awakening often comes after devastation. Beautifully written, brutally honest, and full of hope — this book will stay with me for a long time.

Jen Hatmaker has been one of my favorite authors for the last decade, and as much as I’ve loved her other work, AWAKE stands head and shoulders above the rest.From the opening line to the final acknowledgments, Jen’s voice and approach to life comes through so clearly—she’s honest, kind, hardworking, self-examining, generous, wise, and funny.And though these pages came to be because of the devastating moment that Jen discovered her husband’s infidelity, this book is so much more than a memoir about getting through a divorce.The essays she’s so carefully chosen to include swiftly move us through her story of awakening, taking us back and forth through the decades of her life as she points us toward the bigger picture that’s coming into focus.Each chapter is memorable on its own, masterfully highlighting stories of Jen’s life that ring with relatability to the reader while conveying the uniqueness of the moments that are only hers.Awake made me feel—compassion, anger, sadness, hope, grief, disbelief, and somehow, belonging, just while reading these pages.Jen writes, “There comes a moment even with the most life-altering, painful loss, truly no matter how bad it is, where I eventually have to say: I am a powerful co-creator in my own life…I decide not to wait for an apology or affirmation or some nebulous future stage. I can’t wait for better timing or better circumstances…I’m done sleepwalking through my own story. The Good Life is now, and I am its co-creator. So I will create it.”And that’s what I’m taking with me on this first read through, it’s time to start co-creating.

Spoiler Alert: AWAKE is the in-depth, personal, extravagant literary expression of marital and ministry loss along with details of its aftermath as experienced by a courageous pioneer named Jen Hatmaker.Think ahead. It may be best not to read AWAKE if you’re easily triggered or tempted to judge Jen based on her personal history, ethnicity, sexuality, political preferences, indigenous practices, LGBTQA+ gender affirmations, lack of church attendance, profanity and alcohol use, etc. Still, given this book is hers, not yours, and since she isn’t you, doesn’t know you, and wrote this for herself (not you), perhaps you’ll choose to read it instead with love for the author along with whatever boundaries you need to set for yourself.Much of what Jen shares in these virtually tear-soaked pages is an utterly raw, self-inscribed depiction of her life and losses IRL. She excavates and delves into her deep trauma as she pours her words onto the page. Jen says she wrote and checked everything with the approval of her team of friends and editors alongside her, asking them if it was “too much” before submitting the final draft of AWAKE. I believe her and can picture others urging her on (especially the publisher). As a writer, I feel tender toward this gutsy author and appreciate her counting the cost, then deeming the risk worth her creative endeavor.Jen says: “I decided not to prescribe, I look forward to finding out what readers take away. I didn’t hand over any instruction or even conclusions. My guess is that each reader will pull something wildly unique to them.” Taking her disclaimer at face value is essential when reading a book this big, this honest, this brutal, this hopeful. It’s a lot to take in and synthesize, though not shocking for those of us living our life with eyes wide open in 2025. It isn’t an instruction guide, it’s her one-of-a-kind experience. It doesn’t point the way ahead for you or for me or for anyone except Jen, it does offer hard-earned insight that can ease the sense that we are the only ones who have endured devastating heartache. It’s not a permission-granting tome or example-setting lifestyle manual, it is a story that encourages others to explore the upside of forgiveness and recovery, to repair what’s been broken and find our safe places. Clearly, this is her intention: For each of us to know how fathomless and immutable True Love really is—right here, right now.If you wrote your memoir today, fully willing to see and not hide from God’s inexorable truth, surrendering every idol, embracing Jesus’s relaxed permanent love for you, I bet you, like Jen, would be amazed at where your writing journey takes you. May her unflinching self-portrait—the story of one woman’s agonizing emergence from a delusional codependent mindset into the forward momentum of compassionate life-giving discernment—refresh for all who read it the hope we hold as an anchor for our souls as we cry: “Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—then guide me on the road to eternal life” (Psalm 139:23-24, The Message).

Awake is a beautifully written and deeply relatable memoir. Jen Hatmaker’s voice is as honest, funny, and encouraging as ever, but this time she also invites us into a more vulnerable and soul-stirring personal journey.What stood out most to me was how the book felt like an invitation—to pay attention, to breathe, to notice the places in my own life where I want to wake up more fully.If you’re looking for a book that’s both engaging to read and inspiring to carry into your everyday life, this one is worth picking up. Awake is her best book yet!

The title of this book didn’t just catch my eye. It grabbed me from behind like a stage hook. My immediate reaction, when stumbling upon it on Amazon, was to promptly close my laptop and try to forget I’d ever laid eyes on it. My own mother had died a few years earlier, and just the thought of being seen holding this book, with its raw, audacious title, prompted a cold sweat. I’d confessed to too many people over the years my feelings for my mother, always in a vain attempt to sort fact from fiction and shed light on the ambivalence that had hung heavy in the air between us for as long as I could remember. I mean, feelings like that aren’t natural, right? Not the feelings of a good girl grown up. Not feelings about Mom.Well, never underestimate the power of a great book title. This one pulled me in, despite my initial reluctance, and wouldn’t let me go. It may never. I’d be grateful if it didn’t. This book is that good, that meaningful, and that important.Don’t be fooled by the book jacket. This memoir by former Nickelodeon star Jennette McCurdy is no comedy, although you may find yourself chuckling in places. It’s a very sober account of the young life of a woman who has struggled with the realities and ramifications of early fame in Hollywood, the misguided values and unreasonable expectations and pressures of a narcissistic, though well-intentioned, stage mom, the terror of loss, the aching, gaping blackhole of grief, the quicksand suction of addiction, and the steel-grip hold of compulsions, especially bulimia. It’s the story of hitting rock bottom, seeking help, relapsing, and seeking help again ultimately to be able to look clear-eyed at the why of every puzzling piece of a life picture. To see it is to begin to makes sense of it, and making sense is the only way to overcome. It’s a hero’s journey, and McCurdy not only embarked on her own valiantly, but has presented it to us in the gift of one terrific memoir.What makes this book stand out from the mile-high pile of narratives on dysfunctional parenting? For me, it’s the sheer bravery in McCurdy’s brutal candor. It takes guts to vent to the world unapologetically about the woman who birthed and raised you, especially a mother, like McCurdy’s, who had to endure her own personal trauma. In cases like these, even the most callous can elicit a rabid defense of damaging, wayward mom, the kind of feedback that only fuels the victim’s pain. Self-doubt sets in and then guilt and shame, all triggers of compulsions, addictions and chronic, paralytic despair. It happens time and time again. Why? Because no one experienced your parent quite like you did, not even your siblings. And it’s just plain unnatural to be that angry at the woman who birthed, raised and even loved you… right? (Oh, that BLASTED self-doubt!)McCurdy’s memoir shines bright with insight. But its greatest gift is in the author’s full-throttled admission of and entitlement to her anger. In the end, she doesn’t doubt her experiences or blame herself, like most of us who’ve fallen victim to eating disorders. And because McCurdy owns her feelings with such a refreshing, unflinching and bright-eyed conviction, she inspires us to do the same. No guilt or shame necessary. Just a true understanding of one’s own experiences and feelings — the ownership of one’s own personal truth — and that sweet burst of self-acceptance that comes along with it. How freeing is that? Let me tell you, it’s a damned good start on the road to recovery and forgiveness.

Absolutely fantastic book – I read this on a recommendation with no clear expectations and can only say that Jennette is an absolutely fantastic writer. She writes about her family, her emotions, and her work with such nuance and subtle humor in a way that I haven’t found in a memoir before. I couldn’t put the book down and finished it in two days. She also writes from a place of wisdom and often from the place of the child she was during certain experiences. You can feel the innocence she had, the way she formed beliefs and did her best, and the way so much was shattered and rebuilt. And somehow she also has fantastic comic timing throughout. Wonderful book, highly recommend.

“I’m Glad My Mom Died” by Jennette McCurdy is such a wild ride. Honestly, this book has been all over the place, and I couldn’t put it down. Jennette opens up about her life and her complicated relationship with her mom, who was super controlling and had a big impact on her mental health.What I really loved about the book is how Jennette mixes humor with some really tough stuff. She talks about her struggles with eating disorders and the crazy pressures of being in the entertainment industry, but she does it in a way that’s relatable and funny. It’s like you can feel her pain, but she makes you laugh too.The title is what caught my attention initially, and as you dive into the book you quickly understand why she chose it. Jennette McCurdy really captures what she went through in such a manner that lets her readers “feel” some of the pain she endured, mostly at the hands of her mom. Although Jennette felt this weird mix of grief and freedom after her mothers passing I was so hoping to read that she confronted her while she was still alive….. Even so, I was still RELIEVED to know Jennette McCurdy was liberated from the ghosts of her past eventually.This book is a powerful read that dives deep into family drama, self-acceptance, and the ups and downs of fame, zeroing in on the disturbing manipulative behaviors of a narcissistic, controlling parent. This is a reflective book that’ll tempt the reader to search his/her own upbringing- offering strength for hope, particularly if the reader has experienced abuse in their own past.

I have a masters in counseling with a focus on child development. I have read ALL the things. And Dr. Becky’s book is my heart’s song finally in print. She shows how we can parent in a way drastically different from generations past, caring about our kids’ feelings and also improving their behavior. She explains—in the most humble way—how to get away from the punishment/consequence paradigm and move towards connection, while being a sturdy leader with boundaries. She takes big concepts and theories and makes them relatable. And, most of all, she TRULY cares about each parent and each kid. It’s the WHY for all her hard work, and it’s what sets this apart from everything else I’ve read (along with her brilliance, evident study in all the relevant material, and incredible ability to story tell.) She is honestly one of the greatest treasures of our generation and I’m eternally grateful to have her as a mentor and friend (if you join her platform/community, she interacts with you personally and she really does become a friend.) Not enough words to give this book the praise it deserves. It will be something I reference and come back to for years to come. Not only is it helping my kids and in my parenting, it is helping me on my own healing journey.

10 stars! As both a mom and a child and family therapist/parent coach, I have read a million parenting books. This one is easily in the top three if not the best one I’ve read. I was already a Dr. Becky groupie from her Instagram account and podcast, but this book has made me want to sing her praises from the mountain tops. It is thorough, practical, relatable, actionable, excellently written and organized, and empowering. It is grounded in attachment research, neuroscience and internal family systems theory. She spends as much time in the book increasing parenting tools and skills as she does giving parents grace and reminding them of their inherent goodness and ability to grow, change, and repair with their children. I did so much underlining and will be recommending to all my therapy clients, to my colleagues, and to all parents in general!

This is the best book I have ever read. Not only it helped me much in dealing with my son and other children, but it also helped me to understand myself better.

Some parts of this book didn’t seem totally applicable to what I’m going through with my children right now but overall, it had so many incredible takeaways, insights and strategies that will help me see my goodness as a parent and the goodness of my children as the navigate this crazy world.

I already know, after finishing this book, I will be reading it again and again. It was so simple yet so powerful. And there is so much for any parent to relate to and apply into their own life. I highly recommend this book.

I have so much I want to say about this book and how it changed my perspective to parenting for the better. There are so many books about what to expect when you first find out you’re pregnant and how to go about the next newborn/infant stage. There’s not enough talk about needing to read parenting books beyond the first 12 months.To be honest, I found this book the most motivating, inspiring and HELPFUL Of them all. This book is definitely geared towards the toddler and beyond years, and I really wish I had read this earlier. Please do yourself a favor and read this book prior to toddler years. Even if you think you know how to go about helping foster your on childs independent, appropriate, and emotional development, as well as sibling/ friendship hardship in the correct manner, I challenged you to read this book to make sure what you’re doing (or plan to do) is truly right.This book helped me develop the tools (actions and word choices) that I needed to improve my reactions towards undesirable words or actions by my toddler. This in turn has reduced her outbursts (Both physical and verbal) and has given her anymore independent and an emotionally stable/strong relationship with herself and everyone else.This is especially for those strong willed and emotionally intelligent/ sensitive children.To be honest, I even learned a lot about how to navigate adult relationships better. I learned a little bit (maybe more than I want to admit) about myself too.10/10.

This book has been so, so wonderfully helpful, my husband jokes it’s now my bible. Kiddo went from like 10-20 meltdowns a day to only a couple, and those are resolved in like a tenth of the time. I feel so much less frustrated and more connected, and able to handle it when he does dysregulate in a way that makes me proud. It’s also honestly been healing for me as a child of loving parents who nonetheless didn’t learn all this stuff and did a lot of invalidating and shaming. It’s great theory and very easily digestible and applicable practice combined. I wish I’d found it 3 years sooner and I can’t recommend it enough.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a transformative and compassionate guide for those who grew up with emotionally unavailable or self-centered parents. Dr. Lindsay Gibson, a clinical psychologist, offers clear insights into how emotionally immature parenting can leave lasting scars, such as feelings of neglect, confusion, and low self-worth. She identifies four types of emotionally immature parents—emotional, driven, passive, and rejecting—and provides practical strategies for healing, including setting boundaries and recognizing emotionally mature relationships.The book is structured with clarity, making complex psychological concepts accessible. It includes real-life examples and exercises that help readers understand their experiences and begin the journey toward emotional recovery. Dr. Gibson’s empathetic approach empowers readers to reclaim their emotional well-being and build healthier relationships.Whether you’re seeking to understand your past or improve your current relationships, this book offers valuable tools for healing and growth.

I’m in love with this book! But I started reading it and the pages started falling out! The book has amazing insight and is very helpful and easy to read!

I’ve recently started reading.. I finally have an explanation and some validation for my lifelong feelings/emotions due to this book. The way it’s laid out and written is perfect.. it’s gentle giving truths, just harsh enough to help get it through your head. Though it’s an emotionally hard read, I’m excited to continue it, make bookmarks, and take more notes!

Insightful, compassionate, and truly worthy read that helps make sense of so many family dynamics. Unfortunately, the physical quality of the book was disappointing—the first few pages came loose as soon as I started reading. Content-wise, five stars. Printing quality, not so much.

I felt like every time I read a page it was a “A-ha” moment. This really makes you think, and understand your upbringing and understanding those who came before you. Helps ease your mind. A great read!

Great book and a very easy read. Explains everything and even gives examples in the form of stories. There are exercises that challenge you to look at things from different view points. It honestly has helped me have a lot of things click in place. Really glad I started reading this. Valuable insight and I can see myself and my parents in this book

I am a psychologist in private practice in Boston, MA. A client recently recommended this book to me, and I said I would read it with him. When I sat down to read Chapter 1 the night before our meeting, I didn’t put it down for another 3 chapters. Since then, I have recommended it to several of my clients. Another client got it and read it cover to cover, crying periodically. I keep it on my desk, and sometimes I will open up to a page and read a paragraph or anecdote to validate something my client is struggling with. Gibson has a clear, accessible style that is not too heavy on clinical language, while including relevant findings from research in the areas of parent-child attachment, family therapy, neuroscience, and child development. She summarizes complex ideas with clear language. For example, she summarizes the difference between “enmeshment” (unhealthy) and “emotional intimacy” (healthy) in half a page. One thing I really appreciate about this book is how it is not framed around diagnoses or clinical problems. In discussing the four types of Emotionally Immature parents, she notes the Emotional parents are the “most infantile of the four types…it doesn’t take much to upset them, and everyone in the family scrambles to soothe them…no wonder everyone in the family feels like they are walking on eggshells”. She then goes on to say “At the severe end of the spectrum, these parents are, quite frankly, mentally ill. They may be psychotic or bipolar, or have narcissistic or borderline personality disorder…Regardless of severity, all such parents have difficulty tolerating stress and emotional arousal.” Basically, we can label and diagnose, but that doesn’t address the underlying issue – that these are parents who lack the capacity to meet their children’s emotional needs through mirroring, empathy and support. It can take different forms, but that’s the common thread. There is much in this book to validate people who grew up trying to turn themselves into people pleasers and emotional pretzels to get that ever elusive positive feedback from a parent. Or for the mature and self contained individuals who had to take on the emotionally difficult tasks their parents are incapable of. And Gibson weaves the threads together deftly to show that any child experiencing the types of inconsistencies and feedback of growing up with a parent like this will have similar experiences. She makes an excellent case, through research illustrated with clinical anecdotes, that the child is not at fault. I’m up to the last chapter on solutions – all about boundaries and objectivity and readjusting expectations. I think anyone who picks up this book will find a useful nugget or much much more. Thank you, Dr. Gibson, for writing this book and helping to accelerate my clients’ healing journeys!

A compassionately written book that explains an awful lot. Lindsay Gibson does a wonderful job of breaking down the various types of emotionally immature parents and helps the reader to understand behaviors that they may be still questioning as adults.

Raising Good Humans is an incredibly insightful and practical guide for parents who want to nurture kindness, empathy, and emotional intelligence in their children. From start to finish, this book offers compassionate advice grounded in real-life experiences, making it both relatable and inspiring.What I love most about this book is how it balances gentle parenting principles with actionable strategies. The author writes with warmth and honesty, acknowledging the challenges and imperfections that come with raising kids, which instantly made me feel understood rather than judged. The chapters are filled with thoughtful reflections, helpful tips, and real-world examples that resonate deeply.This book goes beyond typical parenting advice by focusing on the heart of what it means to raise compassionate and resilient human beings. It emphasizes the importance of modeling behavior, practicing empathy, and creating a safe space for children to express their feelings. I found the sections on managing emotions—both for parents and children—particularly valuable, as they provide tools for handling tough situations without losing patience or connection.Another standout aspect is how accessible the writing is. Whether you’re a new parent or have years of experience, the book’s tone feels supportive and encouraging, never preachy. It’s also full of gentle reminders to practice self-care as a parent, which is so important but often overlooked.Overall, Raising Good Humans is a must-read for anyone who wants to raise kind, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. It’s a beautiful combination of heart and practical wisdom that has already made a positive impact on how I approach parenting. I highly recommend this book to all parents and caregivers looking for guidance with love and compassion at its core.

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Raising Good Humans is a thoughtful and deeply practical guide for anyone who wants to break free from reactive parenting patterns and raise kids with kindness and confidence. Hunter Clarke-Fields approaches parenting through the lens of mindfulness, which felt like a breath of fresh air compared to the usual advice that can often feel overwhelming or judgmental.What really stood out to me were the easy-to-understand mindfulness exercises and communication strategies that can be applied in everyday parenting moments, whether it’s dealing with toddler tantrums or teenage struggles. The book doesn’t just focus on kids; it also emphasizes caring for your own emotional well-being, which is crucial for staying patient and connected.I appreciated how the author breaks down common parenting challenges and offers clear, realistic tools that don’t require a complete lifestyle overhaul. This made it feel doable even for busy parents who want meaningful change without added stress.This book is ideal for parents who want to foster empathy and emotional intelligence in their children while also cultivating calm and resilience within themselves. It’s a gentle reminder that being mindful isn’t about being perfect but about showing up with more awareness and love every day.If you’re ready for a parenting approach that balances kindness with clear boundaries, Raising Good Humans is a powerful resource you won’t regret picking up.

My first parenting book and I am glad I have started with this one. Recommend taking time to read this.

This was very inspiring. It’s not a quick fix, Magic button to getting your kids to be perfect. This is a book to give you tools of how to talk, listen, and show both us and our kids how to be good humans. I will definitely be implementing some of the practices mentioned in our daily lives.

I love this book, I totally recommend it.

Such a great read! I loved her focus on us as parents. Monkey see, monkey do. So make sure you got your crap together!???????? no really we do just tend to cast our past parented experiences onto our kids without even thinking. Well this book gives you a great opportunity to deep dive and heal your family from the inside out! God bless this author!

I haven’t even finished the book but feel so inclined to write a review. I assumed most parenting books were going to be along the lines of ‘this is how to teach your child to do these things’, this book has helped me as a mom to reflect and work on ME. It has helped me come up with my own tactics, based on working on myself, as well as giving me pointers on how to approach things with my child. Highly, highly recommend.

If you’d re struggling with reactive parenting this book is for you. I have learned so much about myself and have been able to take true steps to help me calm my own nervous system so I can be calm and help my toddler navigate her day to day challenges. I really can’t recommend this book enough for any parent

Ooo, this book was soooo good that I have too much to say and not enough time to write it all! I’m excited to be the first reviewer to have already put these parenting strategies into action and say—yes, this works! My six year old is cooking and cleaning, and she is more peaceful and even sleeping better than she has been in years. Even the baby is happy because we are including him in everything we do as a family.I was able to do get these results so quickly because I was already many months into implementing a complementary educational philosophy (Montessori) at home. Hunt Gather Parent gave me some of the context I was missing to make phenomenal changes in my household in literally just a few days. This is an important book for parents, grandparents, nannies and other caregivers. This knowledge is desperately needed in the US today!So as the book jacket explains, this is the story of an American mom, Michaeleen Doucleff, who brings her three year old daughter Rosy along with her as she lives and learns about parenting with families from three indigenous populations—the Maya in Yucatan, the Inuit in the Arctic circle and the Hadzabe in Tanzania. The book is rich with first-person anecdotes from each of these settings, populated by realistic portraits of the people she encountered. I loved learning about each group, and I wanted to read more, more, more about the families she met and the experiences she had.The book also weaves in a ton of scientific research and many of the author’s original interviews with anthropologists (I admit I gave the book a lot more credit once I looked at the notes and realized a lot of the interviews were her own original work). There is some interesting historical parenting perspective in the first two chapters that upends much of our current thinking about raising children.As well, the author was generous in her willingness to share the darker, cringe-worthier parts of her own parenting journey. I think just about any parent reading this book will recognize parts of their own parent-child relationships in this! But never fear, there is help on the way, as Michaeleen shares many macro and micro tips and tools for finding a completely new way of relating to our children. A very high level recap of some of her main points:–Include children in every aspect of adult life, including housework, cooking and other day-to-day work, and the children will be happier, calmer and naturally helpful.–React with peace and gentleness to children. Respond to misbehavior by ignoring, redirecting, modeling, encouraging, and other kind educational methods.–Give children autonomy in a safe way that builds both their confidence and their feeling of responsibility to their family and community.I really appreciated that Michaeleen was able to identify some “universal parenting strategies” because I agree with her that finding commonalities among cultures is the way to find what truly works. I think all parents everywhere want the same things, right? For their children to be healthy and fulfilled, and for the relationship among family members to be supportive and rewarding.And yet many of us in the U.S. (and probably Canada, Australia and U.K. as well), have completely lost our parenting compass. We don’t even necessarily know what values we want to transmit to our children, let alone how to transmit them and nurture the behaviors that support them. Do we want to encourage independence or interdependence? Peer social skills or family ties? Shouldering responsibility or following your bliss? As parents, do we want to be our kids’ friends or their leaders?The indigenous families interviewed by Michaeleen seem to have settled on the perfect middle ground among all these ideas. Their children are confident, sociable and emotionally mature. They definitely come across as happy and content. The parents seem to genuinely enjoy the company of their children, yet the parents have their own lives and aren’t at all slaves to their children’s whims.Now, as for my own parenting journey…I have been on this path for a few years to try to remake our family life and my relationship to our older child. I have read and implemented some of the best of other cross-cultural parenting books that have come out in the past handful of years, including about the French, Danes, and Japanese. Those books were wonderful and do not fundamentally contradict what Hunt, Gather, Parent describes. It’s just that those books failed to mention some of the underlying concepts which are also practiced in France, Japan and Scandanavia—things like family togetherness.As well, I have been reading books by Maria Monthessori and her disciples and implementing them in our home for about 6 months. Montessori provides a more detailed and comprehensive method than Hunt Gether Parent for introducing children of all ages to the work of daily life, as well as to the important concept of modifying the manmade environment (ie. The home) to ease children’s anxiety and increase their feelings of success.Importantly, Maria Montessori describes child development in her books and explains how the evolutionary purpose of childhood is basically to follow around adults and older children so the developing child can learn how to act, move and speak like others of their group, thus adapting to their culture, environment and time. This is how an Inuit child grows up to know how to live off the harsh lands of the Arctic, and how an American child grows up to know how to drive a car, shop at the supermarket and earn an income through gainful employment. Montessori describes how children have a developmental need to contribute to their communities and families, and how they will become demanding, possessive, clingy or otherwise maladapted if this developmental need is thwarted.Montessori has been incredible for our family and has completely changed our family life! Using the Montessori method of breaking jobs into subtasks and teaching by modeling rather than correcting, our 6 year old had already assumed a range of responsibilities from helping to prepare meals and clean up afterward, doing her own laundry, washing her hair, and many others. She was SO MUCH happier and confident after we taught her these jobs, we couldn’t believe it. And as Michaeleen notes in Hunt Gather Parent, we were continually surprised by her physical abilities, such as carrying a laundry basket full of laundry up a flight of stairs all by herself!However, our child was still clingy and demanding. She had difficulty concentrating and talked compulsively All. Day. Long. Enter the answer to my fervent asking…Michaeleen Doucleff’s Hunt, Gather, Parent. One of the wonderful ideas from this book we implemented immediately was the Family Membership Card—which essentially says children need to eat, work, play and do everything else ALONGSIDE the other members of their family. Whereas before our daughter had her own jobs to complete, now I suggested we do all jobs together. And she loves it! Using this tool and some of the others from the book, after just a few days she is already calmer and more focused. I enjoy her company more than I have since she turned two! And our baby is getting more attention because there isn’t so much idle chatter in the house. The transformation for our entire family has been wonderful, and I assume this is only the beginning for us!To those parents who, like me, are looking for a better way to relate to their children and manage their family lives, I think you will find many ideas in this book. But change takes time if you are just starting this journey. Be patient with your children and spouse, and especially with yourself. Little by little, things will fall into place.To the author…thank you for writing this book! I can tell it was an act of love, and you deserve many rewards in return. I wish all parents and children everywhere love, peace and blessings.

Probably the first and last time I will ever say this about a parenting book- or any non fiction book- but I couldn’t put the book down!I hardly ever read through an entire book like this cover to cover- but this book I read in its entirety in less than a week.It was so helpful, so practical and so hopeful.The stories were entertaining and instructive and I love how humble and relatable the author is.I teared up and laughed multiple times.Reading this book was like going on a fun trip around the world with a friend and learning so much useful information at the same time.I am around kids all the time but I don’t have kids yet, because it has been overwhelming to me how stressful parenting seems to be from watching other parents. But this book actually made me WANT to have kids and feel excited about parenting, unlike a few other parenting books I have picked up.The information she gives is easy and laid out well, practical and easy to remember and seems simple to implement.I’d highly recommend reading this whether you have kids or not. It will give you hope to be a parent, help you in your parenting journey, and help you with friends and relatives who have kids. It will also help you understand yourself and how you behave and think and act coming from a western background.I feel like it answered SO many of the parenting questions I’ve had, and honestly believe it may be one of the only parenting books anyone needs to read.

Everything I have heard the author say on NPR about the Iñuit rings true to my own experiences. More than 40 years ago, I met 16 young Iñuit children, was amazed by their calm maturity, and moved to their village in Arctic Alaska (with the village council’s permission). Our children lived among the Iñuit from birth until they left for college. I coached our sons’ mostly Iñuit youth softball teams for a decade. We lost more often than not, but not ONCE did a parent complain to me about our team’s performance or my coaching. I can think of no better place in the world to raise a child. I’ve pre-ordered the book. When I’ve had a chance to read it, I’ll update my review.—————-I have read the book, and I like it.This is the story of smart, sensitive, frustrated 3-year-old girl (Rosy) who tries to reform her smart, hard-charging, professional, angry, and clueless mother into an adult who will listen, understand, free her daughter from near constant oppression, and let go of the tensions driving them apart. The mother (author Michealeen Doucleef) is a slow learner burdened by her own childhood experiences, but also self-aware and resourceful. Their emotional and geographic journey follows a happy and instructive path. Way to go Rosy!Doucleef – a self-confessed terrible parent – had the brilliant idea of turning her obvious parenting failures into a book project, both to satisfy her deep curiosity about Indigenous parenting and to finance her own reformation. Through determination and with lots of help, she gradually works her way back to solid parenting ground, learning lessons that should benefit anyone willing to journey with her. Doucleef has a self-deprecating nature that Iñuit admire, but at times her self-deprecation seems to me more like a literary device than true humility. I can live with that.Doucleef’s unexpected encounter with Chubby Mata (p. 216-217 in the first edition) moved me to tears. If you don’t know about Jean Briggs and Chubby Mata, then the encounter won’t have the same effect on you, but that’s OK. I am not surprised that Mata’s family loved Jean Briggs. For me, Doucleef’s encounter not only increased my already considerable respect for Jean Briggs, but it muted criticism Doucleef is getting for misrepresenting Indigenous people. For decades, I have recommended Jean Briggs’ books and papers to newcomers to rural Alaska. I plan to recommend Doucleef’s book, too, especially to clueless elementary school teachers from the Lower 48 facing their first Iñuit classroom. Some get it, some don’t. I hope an adult Rosy, like Chubby Mata here, is able to report back to us on what it was like living with the childish version of Michaeleen.There have been a few negative reviews, here and elsewhere. To get a sense of the problem, one Amazon reviewer recommended Rebecca Onion’s review of Hunt, Gather, Parent in Slate, so I read it. I also read Shannon Withycombe’s Twitter blasts. Here is my take.Doucleef does not ignore the science nor the modernization of Indigenous societies. Readable scientific diversions are embedded throughout the book (for an example, see p. 236-239 in the first edition) and referenced in 15 pages of endnotes. It is not that Doucleef ignored the science, it’s just that she didn’t adopt the perspectives that Onion and Withycombe prefer. This happens all the time in science, and it’s healthy. Criticism is what academics do at conferences and in journals. They battle over ideas, over perspectives, and over who should get credit. A PhD chemist (Doucleef) who dares tread on cultural anthropology or early childhood education is going to get hammered, especially if they write a popular book. Very few psychologists, anthropologists, or journalists live among Indigenous people for very long, not even superb anthropologists like Jean Briggs. Academics and journalists live in cities because that’s where the money is. Like Doucleef, they do intermittent field work. Like Doucleef, many are fascinated with Indigenous people. Academics butter their bread with theories and papers that they hope will win grants, lure graduate students, and get them tenure. Academics advance their careers through production and publication just as journalists do.Doucleef is not writing for academics. She is writing for parents who are at their wits end. Consider the academic bickering if you will, but don’t ignore Doucleef because of it. For those who wonder about my credentials, I am an interdisciplinary PhD trained by anthropologists, biologists, ecologists, and economists. My undergraduate degree was a Bachelor of Journalism. I also lived and worked in small Alaskan Iñuit communities for 30 years. As I said in my initial note, we raised our children among the Iñuit.Had Doucleef shared authorship and editorial control with some of her key respondents (not a bad idea!), this book might have been even better, and would have been an example of the “co-production of knowledge.” Her current critics probably would have been silent.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a transformative and compassionate guide for those who grew up with emotionally unavailable or self-centered parents. Dr. Lindsay Gibson, a clinical psychologist, offers clear insights into how emotionally immature parenting can leave lasting scars, such as feelings of neglect, confusion, and low self-worth. She identifies four types of emotionally immature parents—emotional, driven, passive, and rejecting—and provides practical strategies for healing, including setting boundaries and recognizing emotionally mature relationships.The book is structured with clarity, making complex psychological concepts accessible. It includes real-life examples and exercises that help readers understand their experiences and begin the journey toward emotional recovery. Dr. Gibson’s empathetic approach empowers readers to reclaim their emotional well-being and build healthier relationships.Whether you’re seeking to understand your past or improve your current relationships, this book offers valuable tools for healing and growth.

I’m in love with this book! But I started reading it and the pages started falling out! The book has amazing insight and is very helpful and easy to read!

I’ve recently started reading.. I finally have an explanation and some validation for my lifelong feelings/emotions due to this book. The way it’s laid out and written is perfect.. it’s gentle giving truths, just harsh enough to help get it through your head. Though it’s an emotionally hard read, I’m excited to continue it, make bookmarks, and take more notes!

Insightful, compassionate, and truly worthy read that helps make sense of so many family dynamics. Unfortunately, the physical quality of the book was disappointing—the first few pages came loose as soon as I started reading. Content-wise, five stars. Printing quality, not so much.

I felt like every time I read a page it was a “A-ha” moment. This really makes you think, and understand your upbringing and understanding those who came before you. Helps ease your mind. A great read!

Great book and a very easy read. Explains everything and even gives examples in the form of stories. There are exercises that challenge you to look at things from different view points. It honestly has helped me have a lot of things click in place. Really glad I started reading this. Valuable insight and I can see myself and my parents in this book

I am a psychologist in private practice in Boston, MA. A client recently recommended this book to me, and I said I would read it with him. When I sat down to read Chapter 1 the night before our meeting, I didn’t put it down for another 3 chapters. Since then, I have recommended it to several of my clients. Another client got it and read it cover to cover, crying periodically. I keep it on my desk, and sometimes I will open up to a page and read a paragraph or anecdote to validate something my client is struggling with. Gibson has a clear, accessible style that is not too heavy on clinical language, while including relevant findings from research in the areas of parent-child attachment, family therapy, neuroscience, and child development. She summarizes complex ideas with clear language. For example, she summarizes the difference between “enmeshment” (unhealthy) and “emotional intimacy” (healthy) in half a page. One thing I really appreciate about this book is how it is not framed around diagnoses or clinical problems. In discussing the four types of Emotionally Immature parents, she notes the Emotional parents are the “most infantile of the four types…it doesn’t take much to upset them, and everyone in the family scrambles to soothe them…no wonder everyone in the family feels like they are walking on eggshells”. She then goes on to say “At the severe end of the spectrum, these parents are, quite frankly, mentally ill. They may be psychotic or bipolar, or have narcissistic or borderline personality disorder…Regardless of severity, all such parents have difficulty tolerating stress and emotional arousal.” Basically, we can label and diagnose, but that doesn’t address the underlying issue – that these are parents who lack the capacity to meet their children’s emotional needs through mirroring, empathy and support. It can take different forms, but that’s the common thread. There is much in this book to validate people who grew up trying to turn themselves into people pleasers and emotional pretzels to get that ever elusive positive feedback from a parent. Or for the mature and self contained individuals who had to take on the emotionally difficult tasks their parents are incapable of. And Gibson weaves the threads together deftly to show that any child experiencing the types of inconsistencies and feedback of growing up with a parent like this will have similar experiences. She makes an excellent case, through research illustrated with clinical anecdotes, that the child is not at fault. I’m up to the last chapter on solutions – all about boundaries and objectivity and readjusting expectations. I think anyone who picks up this book will find a useful nugget or much much more. Thank you, Dr. Gibson, for writing this book and helping to accelerate my clients’ healing journeys!

A compassionately written book that explains an awful lot. Lindsay Gibson does a wonderful job of breaking down the various types of emotionally immature parents and helps the reader to understand behaviors that they may be still questioning as adults.

I wanted to become a better man for my then fiancé (now wife) before we got married. It was one of my goals to improve myself in many different aspects so I can help me help us. I wanted to become more patient and understanding as well as a better communicator. We’ve been together since high school and it wasn’t always rainbows and sunshine, but we’ve managed to overcome those years of immaturity and useless bickers, and now have been on our growth journey. I found this book while browsing Reddit and am very happy to have it in hand. It has helped me tremendously and paints a better picture that marriage, or any relationship, takes a lot of work, belief, and togetherness. It’s not your journey, my journey, but a “our journey”. I’ve embraced the “Create Shared Meaning” principle and have been creating small traditions with her since we’ve gotten married. I go out of my way to do random picnics at the park, stop at a new and interesting place, eat foods from different cultures with her and it’s been fun. We’re both able to share new experiences together and that’s what creates that inside joke that strengthens our bond. I’m very happy that she’s receptive and has started reading this book with me for 30 minutes before we go to sleep (and I don’t mind repeating it either since I gain new insights each go-round). Overall, folks, I highly recommend this book. It will not only improve your intimate relationships, but also any other platonic or familial ones. I take what I learn from this book and apply it to my friends and family too, and it helps me become a better man all around.

Wow! Absolutely loved this book I must say.When I got this book, I wasnt sure Id love it. I know many people recommended it but after reading the negative reviews I was a tiny bit hesitant. But I am so GLAD I bit the bullet.I recommend this for anyone interested in having a long lasting relationship and many years of a beautiful marriage, either one you are currently in or one you want in the future. These truly do seem the keys to make most marriages last for sure. Even the ways conflict is handled is EXACTLY what I been asking for and EXACTLY what I wanted to see. This is the way conflict should be handled.Another pro: the book exercises are very helpful. After reading the questions and surveys I found them extremely helpful in identifying the core issues or positives in a marriage. People don’t realize you are A TEAM when you are married. Its YOU 2 first, and this book preaches that.Also the 7 principles themselves I found to be very true and reading the studies as examples were quite helpful. I also appreciate how the book provides practical examples and tips on HOW to bring up certain topics, what to say, what to do in certain marital situations.The only complaint I have about this book is it doesnt seem to go into too much when to truly call it quits in a marriage. I absolutely agree that in most cases people call it quits far too early and people end what could have been such a beautiful thing for silly reasons that can be resolved or learn to co-exist peacefully, but I will say in some fairly rare situations there are times where a marriage simply wont work. I wish the book delved into that a bit more of what are the signs that your marriage really needs to end. But I would say that is a fairly rare case and again MOST of the time it can be improved with many of the exercises and points made in the bookMy other gripe is that the pages are so thin that it doesnt withstand the wrath of my highlighter! I wish it was a tiny bit thicker because I have to be very gentle with how I highlight so it doesnt bleed through… and trust me, I highlighted A TON in this book.So helpful

Absolutely brilliant book for any couples. So much insight and very easy to read. Every couple should read this book.

My wife and I started a couples communication class, and since it’s based on the book by Gottman, I decided to read the book. It’s well worth reading, especially for newlyweds, as it can save you a lot of angst in the long run. But even for vintage partners like us, there are lots of words of wisdom. Like a lot of books in the self help genre, no horse is ever dead enough to be beaten one more time, so I feel like this book could use some serious editing. But it was still fascinating on many levels, and a good enhancement for the class. I’ve summarized the gist of the book below, although the stuff on relationship stages is from our class booklet, and not from the Gottman book.Seven Principles for a Successful Marriage:1. Enhance your love maps.2. Nurture your fondness and admiration.3. Turn toward each other.4. Let your partner influence you.5. Solve your solvable problems.6. Overcome gridlock.7. Create shared meaning.Signs of impending divorce:1. Harsh startup.2. The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling.3. Flooding.4. Body language.5. Failed repair attempts.6. Stuck on old memories.Relationship Stages:Stage 1. Love is blind.Your partner is the most understanding, smartest, kindest, sexiest person on earth.Stage 2. Power struggle.Futile attempts to change one’s partner.Stage 3. Stability.Accepting your partner as they are, and switching to positive sentiment override (PSO).Stage 4. Commitment.Abandonment of all the self-defeating tactics.

I just finished yesterday…and wow. This book is a must read!! Forgiveness is something I’ve always struggled with, and I’ve been in a really bad place lately after being hurt. I knew as a Christian I had to forgive, but I didn’t know where to start. I read the “Forgiving What You Can’t Forget” 5 day devotion on The Bible App and each day I was moved to tears. After finishing that I immediately bought the book (so read the free devotion first if you’re unsure if you should buy it or not)! Lysa was so open and honest about her struggles in her personal life. She never tried to seem perfect, she was real and relatable. I believe she covered all aspects of forgiveness and how we as humans can feel about it/those who hurt us. Everything she said were thoughts I was having. I’ve been so angry, bitter, and hurt, but she gave me such a different perspective about my hurt and the ones who have hurt me. It’s tough to get through because it’s heavy, but everyone needs to push through. Even if you don’t believe what she’s saying at that time, it will resonate with your heart, and the more you read, the more your perspective will change. Get this book and have an open mind, trust me.However, if you’re going to get this book, you seriously need to invest in “The Forgiveness Journal” as well. I’m not much of a writer/journaler, but it helped me beyond measures in this scenario. I believe reading this book is not going to be anywhere near as effective unless you’re willing to take a step back and write out what you’ve learned to process everything. Lysa provides Bible verses and guided questions to help you sort out your thoughts after each chapter. The beauty of this journal is that you get to write what you want, unfiltered, and it will only be yours to see.If you’ve suffered any type of heartbreak, past or present, please get these two books. It’s worth it, I promise. It’s not going to change you overnight, but it will change your perspective and help you begin the process of forgiving, which is Lysa’s goal. Get it, please, trust me.

Love her books!

I can’t say enough about the author! the book was “absolutely phenomenal” as it helped me in understanding my feelings and emotions during a time period struggling with hurt & betrayal! The author shared her story in transparency and openness. Truly a DIVINE connection????

This was a great book, I truly enjoyed the topic. It helped to put things into perspective, reach back into my own experiences and understand more of the “why” things unfolded the way they did.It does explore how we face challenges, and how to get over a negative event and reframe it into forgiveness.

Outstanding Book! It has been very helpful.

The book was such an excellent read that gently hand-held me with grace & simple explanation AT THE BEGINNING AND MIDDLE! I started to feel free, light and hopeful. I was getting answers And I felt like it was going to lead to breakthrough, but then….towards the end…. it felt rushed. I felt kinda condemned even though it wasn’t trying to be.The late middle to the end started to have a lot of personal stories; Not that it was bad, but I felt like it was distracting the journey I thought I was on.It had also described this wonderful person we get to meet and new discovery and freedom we will feelI thought the book would have touched on that some more. I was feeling very hopeful thinking about a healthier me but then the book started to feel negative as if the pain is something that won’t be gone and hpHow it’s necessary to sit in grief. Encouraging pain. It just overall started to feel negative for me and the hopeful feelings I had suddenly went away because of that being reemphasized. That’s why I took off a star.I realized later that we need God to heal us and we can’t do it ourselves, I tried processing alone and I couldn’t do it. It started a spiral unless I was doing it wrong.Also at first, it explained that reconciliation wasn’t necessary, but then towards the end, it seemed like it was being encouraged. It seem like the end had less grace and personality.I was also not clear about how to get rid of bitterness. The end was not very guiding and on the readers’ level like the beginning.I also thought there would have been a little bit more practical journal prompts to help us Or she would have suggested the index card exercise for us.Pretty much, it was a very disappointing ending for me. I was thinking about buying two more copies for my friends, but I am left feeling negative right now and I no longer want to.That same grace and permission to have freedom in the beginning would have helped if it had continued but it turned negative to me.To summarize, this was had a very highly excellent beginning and middle! Lifechanging answers! Good book. Couldnt put it down. The author was present with the reader like it was a conversationI love that style of writing! It was amazing, but later on, what happened ?

It was no secret to my friends that I was counting down the days to the release of Paper Girl, fully intending to read it straight through from start to finish. But as luck would have it, life’s demands stretched it out over a few days which turned out to be a gift, because it gave me more time to sit with Beth Macy, Author’s words.Beth Macy tells a story like no one else can. Her memoir feels both deeply personal and powerfully universal. She weaves her life story through the polarizing changes reshaping our country, shining a light on the struggles of the marginalized and vulnerable with honesty, compassion, and grit.I bought the hardcover because I love holding a real book turning the pages, underlining the lines that hit home. But I also grabbed the Audible version so I could hear Beth read it herself. There’s something comforting and fascinating about hearing the author’s own voice behind the words she wrote.Two moments made me laugh out loud: her quip about her brother “voting for RFK Jr….not my cup of worms,” and her description of her mom’s green bean casserole…“she opened a lot of cans!” Those bits of humor tucked between heartbreak and truth are exactly what make Beth Macy’s storytelling so special.Paper Girl is eye-opening and deeply human. It’s hopeful because so many people out there are doing good, lifting up others who are struggling. And it’s scary because it shows just how fractured our country has become and how many of our neighbors are still in need of life’s basic sustenance of food, shelter, clothing and education.Whether you race through it in one sitting or take your time to savor it, Paper Girl will stay with you. Beth Macy has once again delivered a masterpiece of empathy and urgency…and as always, she’s rooting for the underdog. No doubt this is a Pulitzer contender.

This book is really disturbing. Unfortunately it is based on the truth I suspect, which is really frightening. It is put together in a bouncy manner which leaves the reader searching. I’m glad I read it , but wow.

Beth Macy has a poet’s gift for words, and she always–ALWAYS–finds and takes us to the truth. PAPER GIRL is wise, gritty, heartfelt, moving, smart, and most important, an absolutely fascinating read.

This is an excellent book about what is happening to the US in terms of smaller more rural towns that seem to be hollowed out. How we fix it, I don’t know but at least this author is shining a light on a very serious issue.

I enjoyed reading this book, although gut churning as it should be at times. I learned things about Urbana that I didn’t know, continued learning is good. I grew up the son of a well known Urbana self-employed mechanic/race car driver and had a lot of respect for Mr. Martin…dotting the i in Script Ohio in ‘74 before graduating in 6/75. I’m retired now and will be buried next to my parents at Oakdale Cemetery along with my wife. I have two grown children and two grandchildren. Blue collar money was never a problem growing up, we were not country clubbers, and life at home was not Ozzie and Harriett!! My older brother was gay and married to a wonderful man (my brother passed in 2022) and my younger sister is gay. I’m straight, always have been and our blue collar parents gave the three of us the same amount of water growing up…and love growing up…and forever, no matter what. And our parents had their issues just like I did as a parent…no one is perfect in my book. I would tell you based on my experiences you are who you are from day one…it’s born into you. I’m a registered Republican (have been for some time) and know in my brain and heart that Trump IS NOT the correct answer for America. It’s upsetting to me that Champaign County is 75% Trump. A neighboring county where I live, Trump is only 35%. I pray that we come together as a society with leadership that we respect and is mindful/helpful to the middle and lower classes…not the upper class…before we all blow a good thing we have going, called Democracy. Thank you Beth Macy, your family and friends, for stating the facts…and your journalistic professionalism and bravery.

I couldn’t decide if this should be a 2-star or a 3-star book. It is well written, like her other books, but I was taken aback by all the politics and vitriol. I agreed with her views but have to admit I got weary of reading about how bad Trump is and how awful Republicans/MAGA are. After the 8th or 9th bashing, I wanted to yell “okay! I get it!” Also, I thought some of the family history was unnecessary and did not really contribute to the story. I did learn some things about rural Ohio and the despair of the poor people there; how they feel trapped. Have to admit I skimmed over parts towards the end as I felt like I had read that already and it was repetitious. Giving it a 3-star mostly because of the writing, and I did care about some of the characters, especially Ms Macy’s mother.

This book is a good place to start when trying to figure out our country. Similar to “Out classed”, it informs you that “they” are people too. “They” do good things and are loved.I honestly enjoy these kind of books more than ones that deepen the divide. I’m worried for who we are as a people, but I have little control over that, what I can control, and contribute is sincere wishes for the best, for ALL PEOPLE.Even ones I disagree with.

As someone whose family has quite different political beliefs from my own, I could really relate to the premise of this book. Local journalism has disappeared to the extent that my family members hear every horror story that takes place in other places and think those stories impact them.The smartest guy I knew in college has completely gone down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. The focus on our own communities has truly disappeared. I had to stop reading at a few points because it was all so sad and disturbing. An eye-opening read.